I know every mum has gone through them, and I know every mum’s got their own ready retort. But still, it can get annoying hearing comments just flying out like that without proper thought.
The most recent ones were about MiniMe’s bed and emotional status.
First of, the bed. She sleeps on a queen size bed. Yes, I know. Pick your jaws off the floor. The reason? I co slept for ages and still co sleep when she’s sick or we have visitors. We won’t fit on a single bed. I wish we would but I’m not that skinny. Now, we don’t have three bedrooms. We have two bedrooms and a music room. So if I dump the queen bed just to satisfy someone’s comment about her being on a huge bed and move her to a single bed, where in the effing world will we put the queen size? The kitchen?
Second. MiniMe is a sweet child. The sweetest ever, and she emphatises with others so much. Some people believe she is too “soft” and that I should “toughen her up”. How? By dropping her in the middle of a war torn country and leaving her there? By not responding when she cries? By teaching her to punch or kick? By screaming at her? By smacking her? How do I drastically change a child who’s been sweet and “soft” since the day she was born? How pray tell?
She’s happy, she’s healthy, she’s loving, she’s always smiling and laughing and she is damn clever (so clever her school put her up a level because she was getting bored with the activities of kids her age). All in all I could not have asked for a better child. No child is perfect, yes. But I’d never ask for a better child than what I have now.
So stuff those unnecessary comments. I’ll only listen to you if you have something constructive to say. Go chew on a chilli.
Ay kalagot. Everyone has an opinion when it comes to raising kids! If I’m being truly honest, I’d admit that I’m guilty of it too. It’s human nature unfortunately. It would be much better though if, before sharing our judgements/criticisms, we go by the assumption that mums and dads have the best intentions and their kid’s well being at heart. That we’re all just trying to do what’s right with what we’ve got. So I say, let them talk and “advise” — yours is the choice to not listen. And yes, Nars IS the sweetest little girl I know!
I do it sometimes too but I catch myself because I always think what if it was me. I tend to give my opinion when I’m asked or if I found a link online that might help that person, but It ry not to just fling things around willy nilly. I am happy she’s “soft” and not a huge biatch like me when I was that age!
MummyK recently posted..The art of ignoring comments
don’t mind the comments. you’re doing a great job, kris, on raising inara. you know it. i know it.
Love you vil!
I need to let comments bounce off my head because I worry too much. Perhaps I need to tell people to go chew on a chilli too!
Penny recently posted..To Feed or Not to Feed, That is the Question
Or give them a chilli so they can have something to chew
One of the best pieces of advice I got from a friend while I was pregnant was to listen to everything people said, nod and smile and only file away that which I think I could use. All the rest is crap and comes from people’s own problems, insecurities and prejudices. If there is one thing I have had to learn fast since having Mia it’s that not everything works for every child and I need to do what works best for us, screw everyone else. Everyone has an opinon and I’ll go mad if I take everything on board and let it all get to me. That is easier said than done though and it’s a lesson that I continue to learn every day. Just know that you are doing a good job and if you and your children are happy that’s the most important thing!
Kylez…aka…Mrs.P recently posted..Pinning a 1st Birthday
Thank you for that. It was good to rant
I love that she sleeps in a queen bed! Hey, if it works for you then what is the problem? It has nothing to do with anyone else! And it is WONDERFUL that she is sweet and soft. It means you’ve done a great job.
x
I think I’ve truly mastered the ‘smile and nod’ response to comments regarding my children. They just roll right off me, you’ve gotta have thick skin to get through this parenting biz
Kelly @ HT and T recently posted..The washing never ends
The smile and nod. Sigh. I so need to get thicker skin! More patience before I punch someone!
Kristyn recently posted..MiniMe wants a cat
One of the things that really shocked me when I became pregnant enough for people to notice, was the amount of unwarranted comments… it got even worse when I had my baby. It was really overwhelming for a while and some comments are so out of line still. I am trying to master the art of ignoring too
Kaz recently posted..Wordless Wednesday – Little Feet
Totally concur. Also, I’ll have to remember “Go chew on a chilli” for an appropriate occasion!
Veronica @ Mixed Gems recently posted..Chasing Light
I’m going to copyright that phrase now hahaha!