One of the best things I love about Australia is its multiculturalism. When my parents visited a couple of years ago, they were quite surprised as to how widely varied the cultures are in just one suburb.
It is not unusual to see two cultures merging in one family, just like my own. My husband, an Aussie from Tassie (it rhymes!), and I have been together for 10 years. We have a two year-old daughter and she’s a beautiful mix of our genes.
But as a Filipino living on my own in Australia, with no family and only very few Filipino friends, I have a difficult time deciding how to incorporate my own flavour to MiniMe’s upbringing.
But I know I have to be proactive about this so here’s my action plan to mix both cultures into my daily grind.
- Teach her a Filipino word each week. We speak English at home, mainly because it is just so much easier to communicate in that language. I do try to drop a word or two of Filipino to my daughter (and even my husband) but not as often as I think I should. I don’t know how to teach her both languages without confusing her. I’ve seen Filipino couples teach their kids more Tagalog, but I’ve also seen some teach more English, or even no Tagalog at all. But I’ve noticed she is able to pick up foreign words like Spanish (Thanks Dora and Diego!) so I know it can be done.
- Explain some of our traditions. In the Philippines, tradition has taught us to be respectful of our elders by doing the “mano” – you do it by putting the back of their hand on our forehead as a gesture of respect. My parents never implemented the “mano” for us, but everytime we’d visit our relatives, we always had to do it – even today. My relatives have asked me whether I’ve been teaching MiniMe the “mano”, and although I can see the traditions behind it, I much prefer a cuddle or a kiss from her.
- Cook more Filipino foods. One thing that she has no problem embracing from my side of the culture is the food. She has developed a taste for some of my favourite dishes (and her dad’s too). However, I still have yet to introduce her to the world of sautéed innards, pig’s blood soup and fried dried salty fish (which hubby says smells like his mum’s feet).
- Visit the Philippines as often as possible. We are not well off enough to visit the Philippines that often so she can experience the country herself. But I do hope things improve. I want her to see where I grew up. I want her to see poverty at its worst so she can appreciate what we have here even if it’s not much. I want her to embrace her Filipino side and try to communicate even if she has an Aussie twang (I find that cute anyway). I want her to watch the tackiest and the best of Filipino cinema.
I’m not sure what I actively need to do so she learns about my culture. She has only one Filipino friend, and she doesn’t see her that often. I know she won’t have a problem experiencing the Aussie culture, but I’m wondering if I’m doing my part of making her see the beauty of the Filipino culture. Like parenting itself isn’t already hard enough, I also have to think about the merging of cultures and if I’m doing the right thing by my child. Given I’m on my own in this country, I guess I’ll just do what I can. As long as she’s happy, healthy and safe, I’ve done my job.
.gif "ROCKETFUEL INFLUENCER")
What a fantastic opportunity you have to continue and keep traditions and culture alive. She is very lucky girl to have such an amazing mum x
bigwords recently posted..The Anatomy of a Playgroup
awww thank you, hubby wants to learn too so I gotta start this thing asap
Kids don’t get confused as easily as you might think – she’s still young enough (they say under 3) to pick up both languages simultaneously – just speak to her in Tagalog a lot of the time when you’re together (actually I read 2 hours a day is plenty) and she’ll learn it in no time. My little boy is 18 months old and just starting to talk a lot, we speak German and English at home and he understands both without any confusion. There are lots of good resources at http://www.multilingualliving.com/ if you’re keen. The rest of your ideas sound great – she’s so lucky to have two different cultures to learn about. Good luck!
Amanda Kendle recently posted..25 things to do in Japan – my personal favourites!
Thanks for the tip! She’s quick to learn, like you said. I taught her face parts in my language and she picked it up sooo fast! This is going to be exciting.
I love this!
We try to do the same with our kids. Bluey was counting in several different ages at 2 years old, and I talk often about different customs and traditions. It’s hard because my nan passed away when Bluey was a few months old, and she was the one who taught me her traditions, and I honestly can’t remember all of it. I wish I could teach them more and encourage kids we know to enlighten my kids but people look at me like i’m strange. I find it all fascinating.
Miss Pink recently posted..A Space In This Place
I like this post because I relate to much to it both in my own life and what I did and didn’t experience growing up Eurasian but also what my children might experience growing up with both cultures.
I was fortunate enough to live part if my childhood and teenage years in Singapore and being able to live in there made a huge difference to me. Like you, however, I’m not sure we can afford go bring our girls overseas all that often. The upside for us is that because my non-Caucasian culture is Chinese, we are surrounded by that more in Australia through food and cultural events and even people. I know a lot of Pilipino colleagues at work but have not seen the culture anywhere else.
Language is another issue. I didn’t learn Cantonese really as a child because my father didn’t teach us. As with you and your husband, and with me and my husband, it is easier to speak in English because that is the common language. I was actually the one who initiated teaching my toddler the bare bones I knew of Cantonese. I’ve been urging hubby to do more since he’s the fluent one. It’s a challenge. But I have seen many children in my daughter’s Childcare who are bilingual. They are spoken to in English during the day and then in the other language when their parents pick them up.
All you can do is your best and I think you’ve covered the basics there. Those are the things I also want to expose my children to. I guess the trickier issues are yet to come in how they choose to identify themselves as they grow up, or how society chooses to label them. My girls being 3/4 Chinese will probably be assumed Chinese but I want them to feel they have permission to embrace their Caucasian heritage too because that is part of who they are, even if people don’t think they look it. I may also have to accept as they get older they might not want to as well (eeek!). I see lots of interesting days ahead!
Veronica @ Mixed Gems recently posted..Wordless Wednesday – Heritage Road Trip Part 1
Yay I got a new stalker!
Just added you to my reader.
Great points here. For me, Cantonese is so hard to learn but so lovely to speak. We can only do the best we can in these situations especially when we don’t have the extended family for support. No one else will talk to them in our dialect but us. Like raising kids isn’t hard enough eh?!
Thanks for the add. And I agree with you; raising kids is challenging enough without throwing the subtlety of culture into the mix. But it does make it more interesting too. Well at least I think it did from my own personal growing up experiences.
Veronica @ Mixed Gems recently posted..Gatecrashing Mother’s Group
It’s so important. My husband is part Burmese, and I’m constantly on at him to learn more about his heritage, so he can pass it on to our kids. Unfortunately, his mother didn’t really bother teaching him (or his brother) about their family history, so he actually knows less about his ancestors than I’d learn in a quick Google search. Multicultural kids are blessed to have such a diverse background, and belong to more than one culture/heritage. Great post!
Parental Parody recently posted..Teaching the kids important life skills
It is such a great responsibility keeping cultures alive. I do have moments when I forget it but I hope our visits to my home country would help too.
MummyK recently posted..If only I were a real mother
What a great post. Years ago, I worked for a supported playgroup and there was a gorgeous little girl who’s mother was french and father was Australian, she always amazed me with her knowledge and her ability to speak both languages fluently. Just amazing.
It’s so good that you’re conscious of this and doing what you can to make sure both cultures are a part of her life. What a lucky little girl x
Becky from BeckyandJames.com recently posted..Twilight and Bullying
Oh french, I would love to be able to speak that, sooo nice to listen to but kinda hard to learn